you

I wish you could understand how much I truly love you.

I wish I could understand why I love you so much.

My parents think I've lost my mind because at this very moment, you're sitting in a jail cell and it still doesn't change the way I feel about you.

You attempted to do something horrible, and it doesn't bother me one bit, and that terrifies me.

Everyone tells me that I'll move on once I graduate and leave this two-star town and attend college, because that's where I'll meet the love of my life, but they don't realize that I already met him on November 1, 2012, the day I met you.

I remember the one and only time I saw my Father cry. I was 12, and my parents' marriage was falling apart. She had just had another baby, and starting spending too much time on social media, rekindling relationships she had in high school. A month later, she left for california, with the intentions to never return, but he was going to stop her. He had a van full of four small children, an empty wallet, and a broken heart, but he still followed her. He followed her into the night, when I awoke to find him, listening to the scientist by coldplay, and crying, thinking that nobody would see him. But I saw him. And that's when I realized that I never wanted to be anybody's anything. I didn't want to fall in love with anybody. I would rather be alone.

But after I met you, I decided I didn't want to be alone anymore.

You were interesting and different and I liked that.

You always spoke your mind, regardless of what anyone else thought. You made people happy and actually cared about those around you. You always had something to say that would make me laugh or smile. You were not like other 16-year old boys. And I liked that because I hate 16-year-old boys.

I wish you could understand that on January 2, 2015, we kissed and since then, the way I think and feel isn't the same.

I kissed 18 other boys before you, and nobody was like you.

Iv'e kissed three other boys since you and none of them were like you.

What I'm trying to say is I don't want anybody else except for you, and I wish you could understand.

I've spent the last 73 days missing you and crying about you, and I wish you understood.

My parents are going to start making me see a therapist, because they don't want to understand.

And it's not January 2nd. It's not 3:00 am. I'm not making you velveeta macoroni, and you're not making me tea.

I've spent the last 73 days trapped inside a box that's getting smaller.

And it's all because I'm in love with you.